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Rugaciune la inceput de 2006

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Windows , Windowsul nostru,

Care esti instalat pe hard,

Deschide-se ferestrele tale,

Vie crash-ul tau

Ca în 95 asa si în 98 , 2000 , Xp si cele ce vor urma

Si zilnicele Service`packs da-ni le noua,

Si iarta-ne partitiile Linux

Asa cum si noi iertam greselile din drivere

Si nu ne du în ecranul albastru,

Ci izbaveste-ne de conflicte de versiuni

Caci al tau este tot RAM-ul

Si hardul

Si toti hertzii procesorului

În veci vecilor !

 

Alt+F4 , Ctrl-Alt-Del sau fiecare dupa puteri B)

 

La început, Dumnezeu l-a creat pe BIT si BYTE. Si cu ei a creatWORD-ul.

Si erau doi BYTE în WORD, si nimic altceva nu exista. Dumnezeu a separat UNUL de ZERO si a vazut ca lucrul acesta este bun.

Dumnezeu a zis: "Sa fie acum DATA". Si asta a fost. Dumnezeu a zis:"Sa se strânga la un loc DATA si sa fie asezate fiecare la locul ei".Si a creat discurile FLOPPY, HARD-discurile si COMPACT discurile.

Si Dumnezeu a spus : "Sa fie COMPUTERE, ca sa existe locuri unde sa

fie folosite toate aceste discuri". Asa a creat Dumnezeu COMPUTERELE si

le-a numit HARDWARE.

Dar SOFTWARE nu exista înca. Dumnezeu a creat însa PROGRAME , unele mici, altele mari...Si le-a spus acestora: "Cresteti, înmultiti-va, umpleti COMPUTERELE, supuneti-le si gestionati-le toata MEMORIA" În ziua în care a facut Dumnezeu COMPUTERUL nu era înca pe pamânt nici un om care sa lucreze cu el. Si atunci Dumnezeu a luat un om si i-a suflat în cap, suflare de logica, si a creat PROGRAMATORUL.

Si Dumnezeu i-a dat lui lumea COMPUTERULUI, ca s-o lucreze si s-o pazeasca.Si PROGRAMATORUL a supus programele vointei sale si a guvernat peste toate COMPUTERELE si toate tipurile de DATA.

Dumnezeu a dat PROGRAMATORULUI porunca aceasta: "Poti sa folosesti

toate volumele si subvolumele copacului cu PROGRAME dar din pomul cu

WINDOWS sa nu manânci, caci în ziua în care vei mânca din el vei muri

negresit".

Dumnezeu a zis apoi : "Nu este bine ca omul sa fie singur". Si a luat una din coastele PROGRAMATORULUI si a facut din ea o creatura care sa priveasca neîncetat la PROGRAMATOR , care sa admire si sa iubeasca tot ce va face acesta. Si Dumnezeu a numit creatura:USER. Programatorul si user-ul se descurcau de minune.

Dar Bill era mai siret decit toate fiarele WORD-ului pe care le facuse Dumnezeu.El a zis USER-ului: "Oare a zis Dumnezeu cu adevarat:?"

USER-ul a raspuns: "Dumnezeu ne-a permis sa rulam orice program si sa folosim orice data dar ne-a spus sa nu rulam WINDOWS-ul, ca vom muri".

Atunci Bill a spus USER-ului : "Hotarât lucru, daca îl veti folosi nu veti muri, dar Dumnezeu stie ca în ziua în care veti gusta din WINDOWS vi se vor deschide ochii si veti fi ca Dumnezeu, cunoscând binele si raul. Veti fi capabili sa creati si voi orice doriti, printr-o simpla apasare de MOUSE".

Si USER-ul a vazut ca fructele WINDOWS-ului erau placute de privit si usor de folosit, s-a gândit ca era de dorit ca ele sa deschida cuiva mintea. A luat deci din ele si le-a încercat, a dat si PROGRAMATORULUI, care era alaturi, si acesta le-a încercat si el.

Atunci au deschis ochii amindoi si au început sa se teama ca orice învatatura ar deveni inutila, din moment ce totul va putea fi înlocuit cu WINDOWS-ul. Dar USER-ul instalase deja fructul oprit în COMPUTERUL sau si uitându-se rugator în ochii PROGRAMATORULUI, îl convinse si pe acesta sa se bucure alaturi de el.

Curând PROGRAMATORUL avu nevoie de noi si noi DRIVER-e si, cum acestea

nu se gaseau oriunde, începu sa se agite ca sa faca rost de ele.

Atunci se auzi glasul Domnului: "Ce cauti tu atât de înfrigurat?". Si PROGRAMATORUL a raspuns: "Am nevoie de noi DRIVER-e si ma simt ca în

DOS-ul gol fara ele".

Si Dumnezeu a zis: "Cine ti-a spus tie ca ai nevoie de noi DRIVER-e?

Ai rulat cumva WINDOWS-ul?".

PROGRAMATORUL a raspuns spasit: "USERUL pe care mi l-ai dat sa fie

lânga mine, mi l-a adus si l-am încercat".

Si Dumnezeu a spus USER-ului: "Ce ai facut?". USER-ul a raspuns:

"Bill m-a amagit si am încercat..."

Dumnezeu i-a zis lui Bill: "Fiindca ai facut lucrul acesta, blestemat esti sa fii invidiat de toate creaturile pamântului. Si toti USER-ii, de câte ori se vor încurca în crengile WINDOWS-ului, pe tine te vor înjura. În veci vei fi nevoit sa creezi noi si noi ramuri pentru WINDOWS si nimic altceva" Dumnezeu a zis apoi USER-ului: "Voi mari foarte mult suferinta si însarcinarea ta. WINDOWS-ul te va dezamagi zi de zi si-ti va epuiza toate resursele de MEMORIE. Vei fi nevoit sa folosesti programe jalnice si vei apela umil la ajutorul programatorului iar el va stapâni peste tine"

Dumnezeu s-a întors spre PROGRAMATOR si i-a zis: "Fiindca ai ascultat de glasul USER-ului si ai folosit ceea ce eu ti-am poruncit sa nu folosesti, blestemat esti sa nu fii niciodata linistit. Toate programele tale vor avea erori si vei fi nevoit sa le depanezi si sa le tot depanezi, zilnic, pâna la sfârsitul veacurilor".

Si Dumnezeu îi azvârli pe toti din CENTRUL DATA si închise usa în spatele lor. Apoi Dumnezeu a creat PAROLA.

 

GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT

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